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Dear Pastor,
I have a complicated issue. I am 18 and I'm dating an older man. He is 28 years my senior. I do not know what it is but I cannot stay away from him. I have known him for almost three years. When we met, it was like love at first sight for us both.
We have been dating for almost six months now. He is the best thing that has happened in my life. I know that being so young is an issue because I am positive my parents and his family would not approve this relationship. We are already having issues on both sides. Some of the few people who know about our relationship say he only wants me for sex and he is a pervert. I find it very funny because they themselves like me and want me, but would never say that about themselves. He is nothing like that.
We are not sexually active. I am still a virgin and he is not rushing me. Honestly, if that is all he wants he has had the opportunity to do so already and has not. He wants to wait until I am ready. He also said he wants to wait until later on in our relationship, because if he thinks that we won't have a future together, he does not want to scar me for life and break my heart.
His age is not an issue for me, personally. I couldn't care less what people have to say as long as I know we are in love. I think our family members should just be happy that we love each other, and the haters out there should just mind their own business.
This is so frustrating. We have said if it were possible we would run away together, but that is not realistic. The other option we discussed is to just be friends, which just won't work once we see each other. I cannot see my future without him.
I am so confused. Please, help.
Confused, Kingston Dear Confused,
Don't be in a hurry to marry this man. Keep him as a friend. Use your youth to go to school and pursue your career. You may believe you are deeply in love, but time will tell whether what you are feeling now is true love or infatuation. It is not unusual for a teenager to have a crush on a much older man, but such feelings don't stand the test of time. So while you might admire this man and enjoy his company, don't get carried away by your emotions.
Those who have negative things to say about this man and you are only doing what is natural. They are wondering what you have seen in a man who is 28 years your senior. People will talk, so don't allow what they are saying to upset you.
Pastor
