Dear Pastor,

I'm writing you today because I need your prayers and blessings. I read your column all the time but I just found the courage to write you. I am a 21-year-old female from St Ann's Bay. I am in a sticky situation. I have a boyfriend. We have been together from 11th grade in high school. My boyfriend and my parents don't get along well. He is the type of person who likes to keep to himself. I have never seen him in any company or ever heard of him being in any trouble with people or the law.

Pastor, I love this man and I know he loves me too. We are even planning on getting married and building a life together. He is a working person and doesn't like to waste time. My boyfriend is holding back on getting to know my parents because of the attitude toward him. They are very strict.

Four months ago, I found out I was one month pregnant. I had a miscarriage. Before I got pregnant, I took the morning-after pill because I knew I wasn't ready for a child. The pill didn't work and that is when I became pregnant. My family found out I was pregnant and immediately they stopped talking to me. My aunt sent me a message on Facebook, telling me I have no ambition and would not come to anything good. My parents were upset with me for becoming pregnant. That was the first time I have ever been pregnant and was so traumatised.

Should I dump him?

Pastor, growing up as a child, all I have heard from my parents are words of discouragement until now. I am not that exposed to society because my parents only wanted to lock me away from the world. I feel like giving at times.

Should I dump my boyfriend to please my family? Or should I stay and make life with him?

Pastor, pray for me, the sick and less-fortunate person while I do the same. Please, give me your advice. Thanks in advance.

K.G.

Dear K.G.,

Stop blaming your parents for your failure. I am sure your parents are not perfect and have made mistakes, but have tried their best to be good parents. You should learn to appreciate them. Even if you believe your parents were over-protective, that would not be the cause for you to have allowed yourself to become pregnant.

guidance

Sometimes parents, in trying to correct children or give guidance, they do so in the form of warning and even threats. They do not mean any harm. To many children, they see that approach as condemning. I believe that was your experience with your parents.

Your parents don't have to love your boyfriend. They don't know enough about him. They see him as the guy who got you pregnant. They don't see him as a son-in-law. He hasn't proven himself as a fit and proper person to marry their daughter. If you were wise, you wouldn't condemn your parents for not embracing him. You would encourage the young man to respect your parents and to give them time to get to know him. You should also encourage him to go back to school and improve his status while you do the same.

It is not a question of whether you should listen to your parents and abandon your boyfriend, it is a matter of understanding that your parents love you and want the best for you. Don't look at them as old fogies who don't know what they are talking about.

Pastor

In love with an older man