Dear Pastor,

I hope you can help me with an issue I am having. I am from England but my parents and family are from Jamaica. Four years ago while in Jamaica, I met this guy who I developed a friendship with. At the end of my vacation, this guy told me he had feelings for me and wanted to date me. I told him no, I was seeing another guy.

Pastor, I have been born-again since 2005 and I am still a virgin. Throughout the last four years, I have spoken to this guy over the phone and I see him whenever I visit Jamaica. On my last vacation, he asked me to marry him and told me he loved me. I am confused, although I knew he had feelings for me. We have not been dating. I am now 26, single and ready for marriage. I do love this guy but the only thing stopping me is that he is not Christian.

I have not been on my best behaviour in the past and have kissed other guys, but I have not even kissed this one. I don't know if I believe he is interested in me, because he has not even romanced me in any way.

I know it is not good to be unequally yoked but I believe it is time for me to get married and start a family. I don't know what to do because I am worried I will not get another chance, and will end up being the 40-year-old virgin.

Please help me.

T., England

Dear T.,

Apart from the scriptural admonition, that you as a Christian should not become unequally yoked with a non-believer, you do not seem to know this man very well. You are living in England and this man is living in Jamaica. It is only when you are in Jamaica on vacation both of you meet face to face and talk. This type of long-distance relationship is not good, especially if one spouse is a Christian and the other is not.

You are only 26 and need to understand you don't have to be over-anxious about getting married. I wish I could encourage you to marry this man, but I do not believe you know him well enough. I know for sure you would be playing with fire. Pray about this matter and ask God to lead and direct you.

Pastor