The other day he was here for two weeks and we spent time together. I didn't regret it. We had sex but he didn't use a condom. I want to get married to this man and settle down, but it is hard because this guy in Jamaica treats me like a queen. We spend every weekend together at his house. He used to have a babymother but they are apart. We have been having unprotected sex too and I am worried.

Pastor, the two men who live abroad are coming to Jamaica in December. I don't know what to do. The one in Jamaica knows about the one in America but the others don't know about each other. I don't know who to choose. I am confused.

A.B., Kingston

Dear A.B.,

Now, let us reason a little. Let us not even talk about the reasons you have been intimate with three different men. You are already in it. So, let us talk about finding a way out of the web.

The man in Jamaica, believe it or not, is your biggest problem. You have been spending almost every weekend with him. He knows every move and he knows about your American boyfriend. Whether you know it or not, this man does not trust you either. He tolerates your behaviour because he knows that you are getting help from the man who is in America and if he were to tell you to stop taking money from the man, he would have to give you money to send your children to school and to help you put food on the table. He is not willing to do so. Perhaps he can't afford it. He treats you like a queen in his way. But no man who is worth his salt and loves and cares for his woman wants another man to be having sex with her.

No, my dear, he doesn't care about you as much as you think. He is tolerating what you are doing because of what he can get from you, not because he genuinely loves you. Of course you are making a big mistake by having unprotected sex with him, because he may get you pregnant or even pass on a STD to you. Perhaps when you go to his house, you take care of his place and his clothes and meet his sexual needs. But in his mind, he does not think highly of you.

So what am I trying to say? I am trying to tell you that you should bring this relationship to an end, and do so immediately, because if you don't, the gentleman who has proposed to marry you may find out what you are doing and end his relationship with you.