Dear Pastor,

I am 25 years old and I am married to a 57-year-old man. This is my first marriage, but my husband was married before and his wife died. My husband makes me feel scared of him. I just don't know what he would do to me. He is not cruel or abusive, but he believes in obeah. He also believes that he can talk to his dead mother.

Once a week he goes into a room and talks to her. When I told him that is not right, he said that I don't know anything and that he talks to her and she talks to him and tells him what to do while he is asleep. My husband rubs all different types of ointments on his skin while he is at home to keep evil spirits from molesting him. When he wants to have sex with me, he doesn't oil up himself. But as soon as we are finished having sex, he would rub these ointments on himself and I have to sleep at the edge of the bed or on the floor because I don't want to touch him. I told him that I am afraid of him, because he believes in voodoo worship, but he continues to go into a room and talks to his dead mother.

He was having some problems at his workplace and he bought different colours of candles, along with incense, and burnt them all night to save his job. I am thinking about leaving this man because every day I am feeling uncomfortable with him because of his strange practices.

A.C.,

Dear A.C.,

I am wondering whether you were aware that this man believes in certain rituals which you describe as obeah and voodoo practices. There are some people who believe that they can communicate with the dead. And it is for that reason some people seek them out for help. They go by many different names.

This man believes that he can talk to his dead mother and she can instruct him. You will not get him to change. He is wasting his time by anointing himself with different oils as a means of protection. He is wasting his money on these things.

If he would not stop and you cannot tolerate his behaviour any longer, you may encourage him to go with you to see a family counsellor. If he refuses to go, you should talk to a lawyer.

Pastor