Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column and the time has come for me to ask for your advice. I am a 24-year-old woman and I am working as a helper but I am now pregnant for my boss. I didn't want it this way but it has happened and he does not want me to do an abortion. This man is married but his wife left him. He told me the truth why his wife had to leave him. He loves women and was cheating on her, so she packed her things and left with the children.

When I came here to work, someone who knows him warned me about him, but he never brought any woman to the house. When he interviewed me for the job, he told me that I can live in if I want, but if I live out I have to get to work by 7 a.m. to fix him his breakfast because he has to get to work by 8 a.m. I decided to live in to save bus fare.

After I was here for two weeks, he gave me a television. One Friday night, he came home and brought jerk pork and jerk chicken for me. when I was taking the food to my room, he told me that I could sit with him and eat. He was chatting a lot, then he fell asleep in his chair. I did not wake him. I went to my bed.

When I had my weekend off, he told me that he liked me and that I didn't have to go home on my weekend. So, I stayed and cooked for him. That weekend we had sex, and I told him that I felt bad about it because I have my babyfather and I have never cheated on him. He said my babyfather couldn't do much for me except to have sex with me, but he can do a lot for me.

I love this man so much. I don't know what to do. He said he doesn't want me to have an abortion and nobody has to know who is the father of the child. It has been one year and three months since I am working here. because of me, he says, he has stopped running around. And it is true, because he used to come in very late but now he comes in very early.

Lots of women call him on the phone, but I don't question him. Since I am working here, I am able to save money and to send my daughter, who is staying with my mother, to school, but I am worried about this pregnancy. I don't want his wife to find out that I am pregnant for him.

J.T., St Catherine

Dear J.T.,

This man has made you feel much more than a living helper. If, indeed, you have been able to stop him from chasing skirts, you must be very attractive and intelligent. In other words, you got what it takes. On the other hand, some men don't care how a woman looks. They go to them as long as the women are willing to go to bed with them.

Your boss is irresponsible. Although you should have protected yourself, if you were willing to have sex with him, he could have done something to protect you too. So, both of you have not used common sense. He does not want you to terminate the pregnancy, but at the same time he doesn't want anybody to know that you are carrying his child.

You would be a fool not to name him as father after you have given birth and it is time for registration. You have to be frank with him. You don't have to call his wife and tell her that he got you pregnant. That is his responsibility. However, if for any reason you are called by her and asked whether the child is his, you should speak the truth.

I want you to bear in mind that this woman may change her mind and come back to the matrimonial home at any time. Her husband and herself are not divorced. And you have no claim on him. Yes, you are going to be his baby-mother, but his wife has her marriage certificate to prove that she has legal claims on him and what he owns.

Make sure that if this man informs you that his wife is coming back that you leave her house without a fuss. I hope that he will stand with you as you carry this pregnancy and that he will support the child.

Pastor