Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old and I was working on a ship. I left my wife in Jamaica with a young baby. I sent money for her often and I also called her often. I love this woman more than I love myself. After some months, I came back and stayed a few months and went back on the ship. I trusted my wife, but she was having an affair with another man. He got her pregnant. When she wrote me and told me that she was pregnant, I was sure that it wasn't for me. She confessed that she had got into trouble.

Everybody knew that she was keeping another man and that the child is not mine. I don't know what to do. She was not in need of anything. She tried to tell me that she went out with the man and he forced her to have sex with him. Both of them had a relationship when she was a teenager and the relationship broke up and he got married to another woman and she got married to me.

Pastor, I don't know what to do. I told her that I don't want to see her when I come back to Jamaica, but she is begging me to forgive her. I need your advice.

O.D.

Dear O.D.,

What your wife did to you is hard to take. And I cannot tell you whether you should continue to have her as your wife or to divorce her. It is solely up to you. It takes the grace of God for a man to forgive his wife who has been unfaithful to him and has allowed another man to get her pregnant. No excuse that a woman gives will ever satisfy her husband or ease his pain.

What I can suggest that you do when you are back in Jamaica is for your wife and yourself to seek professional counselling. Both of you need to come together and decide whether both of you can go forward or go your separate ways. I wish you well.

Pastor