Dear Pastor,

I want to commend you on the wonderful work you are doing. I am a 30-year-old man and I started having sex when I was 16 years old. I used to masturbate a lot and one day my older sister caught me masturbating and told my father what she saw me doing. And my father said, "Boy, you need a girlfriend, and if you have a girlfriend you wouldn't have to back your fist." He did not fuss. He said next time I am doing that I should make sure that my sister or no one sees. I took my father's advice and I got a girlfriend who was on the afternoon shift. I was on the morning shift in high school. I used to wait for her and sometimes have sex with her before she went home.

The first time I had sex with her, she surprised me. I didn't know that she had sexual experience. I thought she was a virgin, but she was far from that. She actually told me what to do. So, when I hear people say that the age of consent should be lifted, I say that these people don't know what they are saying because many girls are ready for sex, even before they reach the age of 16.

Although this girl I had sex with for the first time and I continued to have sex for a while, as we grew older, we grew apart. I still love her. I am now married to a very charming lady and we have four children: two boys and two girls. I have been teaching my children about the facts of life. They must not grow up without knowing what to expect in life and how to handle themselves with the opposite sex.

Pastor, keep up the good work.

D.K.

Dear D.K.,

Your father encouraged you to find a girl and have sexual intercourse. He felt that that was the best way to teach you to deal with your sexual urges. Some folks would say that he could have tried to help you by teaching you how to control these sexual urges.

Nevertheless, you accepted his suggestions and you became sexually active. I hope that as you teach your children sex education that you will not give them the impression that it is all right to be promiscuous and that you will tell them that it is better for people to meet their sexual needs within the bonds of marriage.

Although you did not wait until you were married before you started to have sex, abstinence should also be taught to your children and let them decide which way they wish to go. I am glad that you are enjoying a happy relationship with your wife and I wish your family well.

Pastor