Mention marriage and his features change - Tell Me Pastor - Jamaica Star

Dear Pastor,

I am seeking your advice. I have been with a man since I was 19 years old and now I am 29. He is also 29. Both of us are living with his parents. We have two children together. The problem is that I would like to get married but we are not on the same page. Every time I mention marriage to him, his features change.

Last year we were planning our wedding for December and he had me going around telling people about it. And then all of a sudden, he changed his mind. I feel like such a fool now that he tells me that he is not ready to get married. I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake settling down so early. I am so depressed.

Please help me. I am thinking of leaving him.

Depressed

Dear Depressed,

This man is not treating you well. You have been a good woman. You are not the run around type. You have stayed with this man because you believe that both of you have a future together, but he has made a fool of you.

How could he expect you to be happy living in concubinage? Why has he mocked you by promising to marry you at a particular time, and then change his mind after you told your friends that the big day is coming up? That was so wrong. That was punishment that you did not deserve.

lay out your cards

You have not said whether you are employed or whether you are totally relying on this man for support. I hope you are working. No one could blame you if you feel that it is time to end the relationship with this most inconsiderate man.

I suggest that you lay your cards on the table and tell him that you believe that it is time for you to move on because you feel very uncomfortable living with him and not being married. You may also tell his parents how you feel about the relationship and his attitude towards marriage. Tell them that although life would be very difficult for you, you are prepared to move on if he does not want you to be his wife and to make plans for the marriage ceremony regardless how small.

Don't allow him to make promises anymore. Both of you should set the date and go to see the marriage officer and put everything in place. Don't sit around until you are very old and walking with a stick, or in a wheelchair and not married

Pastor

		September 28, 2011
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	Mention marriage and his features change
	Dear Pastor, I am seeking your advice. I have been with a man since I was 19 years old and now I am 29. He is also 29. Both of us are living with his parents. We have two children together. The problem is that I would like to get married but we are not on the same page. Every time I mention marriage to him, his features change. Last year we were planning our wedding for December and he had me going around telling people about it. And then all of a sudden, he changed his mind. I feel like such a fool now that he tells me that he is not ready to get married. I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake settling down so early. I am so depressed. Please help me. I am thinking of leaving him. Depressed Dear Depressed, This man is not treating you well. You have been a good woman. You are not the run around type. You have stayed with this man because you believe that both of you have a future together, but he has made a fool of you. How could he expect you to be happy living in concubinage? Why has he mocked you by promising to marry you at a particular time, and then change his mind after you told your friends that the big day is coming up? That was so wrong. That was punishment that you did not deserve. lay out your cards You have not said whether you are employed or whether you are totally relying on this man for support. I hope you are working. No one could blame you if you feel that it is time to end the relationship with this most inconsiderate man. I suggest that you lay your cards on the table and tell him that you believe that it is time for you to move on because you feel very uncomfortable living with him and not being married. You may also tell his parents how you feel about the relationship and his attitude towards marriage. Tell them that although life would be very difficult for you, you are prepared to move on if he does not want you to be his wife and to make plans for the marriage ceremony regardless how small. Don't allow him to make promises anymore. Both of you should set the date and go to see the marriage officer and put everything in place. Don't sit around until you are very old and walking with a stick, or in a wheelchair and not married Pastor

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