Dear Pastor,

I am in a relationship for three years and my boyfriend and I are going through some rocky times. I was married, but I divorced my husband. We did not have children, although we tried. My boyfriend does not have a profession but he is a hard worker. As you know, Jamaican men work very hard. I am much older than my boyfriend and sometimes when we go out people think that he is my son.

I went to Jamaica and met his relatives and his mother loves me and told me that she is glad that I am older than her son and I should treat him well. But some of his friends told him that I am too old for him. Even his high school sweetheart is trying to get back into his life. He told me that he has never had a woman like me. We are living together and he is helping me to pay the mortgage on my apartment and I am trying my best to be certified as a caregiver.

He is 38 and I am 50. Do you think that I am too old for this man? We have never had a quarrel.

K.M., New York

Dear K.M.,

People ought to mind their own business. This man and you are in love. He treats you well and you treat him well. Both of you are getting along very fine. It is nobody's business but your own. You are only twelve years his senior. So why should folks think that you are too old for him?

I can understand why his former girlfriend would want him back. She is probably jealous and she knows that if he were to renew the relationship with her, he would probably marry her and file for her to live with him in the States.

I can only encourage you to do exactly what his mother asked of you, and that is to take care of him. Make sure you do not make the mistake to treat him as a child. See that he does not spend all the money on you and on your house. Encourage him to save, and both of you should make an appointment to see a family counsellor for professional advice as you plan for the future together.

Pastor