Dear Pastor,

I met this lady on a social-network site and after exchanging letters, she sent her number for me to call her. I called and we began talking on the phone a lot until we decided to meet. We met on a Sunday, and on the Monday we met again and she told me that her boyfriend had left her. He just got up and left.

We spent time together during that week and she kept talking about the guy that moved out. I told her that it seemed that she was still in love with him although she said that he moved out months before I met her. She told me her daughter had a function to attend but she had no money to send her, because she had to be paying all the bills since her boyfriend left her. She asked me to lend her the money. I loaned her the money, letting her know it was for a particular purpose and she said I will get it back as she was expecting some funds in the following week.

She invited me to spend one weekend with her and I went. I found out later that she was still having a relationship with her ex and sleeping with him. When I questioned her about it, she said that both of us were not having a relationship. I told her that I slept at her house and had sex with her, so that is a relationship. She told me no.

We continued to talk and to text each other. And I would cook and take for her daughter and herself. Then one day she started to cry and said that she was in arrears on her car payments. I suggested to her that I could get a loan and lend her the money. She said yes and I got all the details and borrowed some money and lent it to her. She decided to pay me $10,000 per month and that was it. From the money was handed to her, she changed even more. Nothing I said or did was good anymore.

Things escalated to boiling point and I started to demand my money each month end. I was so naïve that I didn't see that all she was doing was using me. We slept together about two times and that was in the first weeks of meeting her.

I have taken the matter to court, and she said that she would deal with it in court. I am really not interested in the fact that she has to resort to her ex-boyfriend, but what she owes me is my concern. She is telling people that it is because she doesn't want to be with me why I am behaving this way, but that is so far from the truth. She is very disturbed and dishonest. What should I do?

R.H.

Dear R.H.,

You describe yourself as being naïve, but I declare to you that what you have done is beyond naivety. You are very dotty and you are easily fooled. What you have allowed this woman to do to you is laughable.

She gave you sex at the early stage of the relationship and it turned you into a zombie. She only needed to have sex with you twice to get you to do what she wanted you to do. And you did her bidding without her asking.

I wish you well as you go to court. You may have a difficult time to prove to the court that the money you gave to her was a loan instead of gifts.

Pastor