Dear Pastor,

I am in a relationship for nine months. When I first started this relationship, I told the young lady that I am a sex maniac and I could not do without sex. I had two former girlfriends and none of them stayed with me for longer than a year because I wanted to have sex two to three times every night. The last one was a nurse. And even when she had to go to work, we had to have sex. She left me also because I refused to use the condom. Pastor, I do not like to use the rubber.

She left me and moved in with another guy. I was going to leave her anyway, because I got tired of fighting with her over sex.

My present girlfriend and I have been together for nine months and she hasn't gotten over her ex-boyfriend. She wants me to do oral sex with her, because that is what he used to do. She told me that I am not doing anything if I am not doing that with her. I told her that is against my religious belief.

I really love this girl, but every time she talks about oral sex and her ex-boyfriend I get upset. She does not mind having sex with me any time of the night. I can wake her up any time but she will never be satisfied until I do oral sex with her. Is that a right thing for me to do?

M.R.

Dear M.R.,

I suggest that you learn to settle down. You claim to like sex. But if a relationship is built purely on sex, it will not last. You should have learnt that by now. That is why none of the women stayed with you. The nurse had to run from you because you are not a man who has learnt to exercise self-control. Even when a man is married, he has to exercise self-control. I repeat, no relationship will be strong and lasting if its foundation is solely sexual, because the sex could become boring after awhile.

Your present girlfriend is keeping up with you but she doesn't consider you as good or skilful in the art of lovemaking as her former boyfriend. She likes what you don't like. You mentioned the name of your religion, but I have deleted it. You say that it is your religion that has prevented you from doing what she wants you to do. I am not wishing you anything bad, but I can tell you that if you don't change and stop believing that a woman should comply with every request you make, you will be running from one woman to the other. And before I go, let me say that when a man is promiscuous as you are, he should never engage in unprotected sex.

Pastor