Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am married to a wonderful man. I met a long-time friend who was crazy over me since I was a teen. I am 49 and he is 65. He is married and very attractive. I started a relationship with him because anything I want he gives it to me since my teen years. He has a heart of gold for me. He takes excellent care of me, and I am impressed because of his kindness to me.

Four years ago, I started a relationship with him. He never asked me for sex before our relationship. I sometimes feel like I am an only child with a wealthy parent. That is how good he has been to me.

My problem is that I don't believe anything he says. I think that he lies to make himself feel good. He says he hasn't slept with his wife for over four years, yet they laugh and talk on the phone all the time. To me, they have a great relationship. He is very good in bed. He does the regular sex and oral sex. It is great. I know the smell of oral sex on a man.

Sometimes when he comes around, he smells like he has just finished having sex. If I ask him if he had sex, he would quickly deny it, but I smell it on his breath and all over his face and I would want to vomit. When he sleeps with me, I make sure he cleans up before he goes home to his wife.

Pastor, please tell these men that oral-sex smell is very strong and it stays on them for a few days, especially in the nose. They should take some time to clean up, wash, brush, plush, gargle after a long night of lovemaking.

I only think of his wife when I smell that strong odour and he ask me to French kiss him. I hate when he asks me to kiss him because I think that he does oral sex with his wife. Every time after he does oral sex with me, I have a yellow discharge from my urinary tract when I urinate.

Do you think his mouth has bad germs? I saw my doctor one week ago, he did a test and said that I am clean.

Please print my letter so all men can read.

P.M., USA

Dear P.M.,

Let me begin by asking you this question. Where is your husband? You said that you are married. But at the same time, you are having sex and sleeping with this man who, according to your letter, takes great pleasure in "swiping" (doing oral sex). You consider this type of sex great. But at the same time, he is not only doing it with you but with other women, and he does not take time to clean up himself.

You are warning men to take care of themselves, but you should warn yourself because just as how this man is behaving like a fool, so are you. And if you want to warn men, you should tell them that there are dangerous women like you around so they should watch their wallets. How can you be having sex with a man who is having unprotected sex with other women? You are exposing yourself to STIs. You are indeed playing with your life. What you are really interested in is this man's money.

I suppose that you don't care how nasty this man is. You have gotten accustomed to his nastiness and have tolerated it because you love his money. If you didn't, you would not continue to cheat on your husband with a dirty 65-year-old man.

Pastor