Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I am pregnant for a man who is 45. He is married, but from the time I was 16 we have been having sex. He treated me well all along. He sent me to school, paid for my exams and gave me everything I wanted.

My mother knew about him. I don't know my father. When I got to know him, I told my mother about him. She said she knew that I had a boyfriend because she saw my movements and she saw something on my underwear that caused her to believe that I was having sex. She told me to be careful.

When I was 18 years old, I had a birthday party and my boyfriend came and my mother met him. Someone told my mother that he is married and she asked me about it and I lied. I told her that he was not married and my mother believed me.

My boyfriend's wife is living abroad and he said she asked him if he had a girlfriend out here and he said 'yes'. And she told him that she hopes that he is not taking her in her house and on her bed. The children are with her, but I sleep in her bed. And it was in her bed he got me pregnant.

When I told him that I missed my period, he told me that I should go to the doctor, and if I was pregnant, I shouldn't carry the pregnancy because that would destroy his marriage. I promised that I would do an abortion. He gave me the money. I went to the doctor, and when I got there I changed my mind and went back home. I thought he would be very upset, but instead he told me that he understands and that I should keep the money and buy baby clothes. I asked him, "what about me?" and he said nothing would change.

I am six months pregnant, and my mother told me that she would help me take care of the baby, but I should leave him. But I love him too much to leave him. After I have the baby, I am going to go to college.

I am asking you for your advice.

I.G., St Catherine

Dear I.G.,

There are always reasons why young girls become sexually involved with much older men. And, in many cases, the reason is financial. This man supported you in every way, and you met his sexual needs while his wife is away. Both of you had unprotected sex. And when people have unprotected sex, they should expect that the women may become pregnant.