I fell in love with this man and within two months of the relationship I caught him cheating on me. I got upset and cursed him but I forgave him and we tried again. My husband never stopped cheating on me. I keep finding out when he cheats and each time I caught him he said that he wanted us to end the relationship. I still love him and, as a result, I want us to continue our relationship. My husband always hides things from me and does not want me to know much about anything that he is doing.

My husband had a relationship with a teenager. Our daughter is a teenager and at one time I noticed that he was looking at her in the wrong way. So, I told our daughter that no male in the family should have sexual intercourse with her, including her dad, because I did not trust him. I told my husband to make sure he keeps his perverted act away from our daughter. Recently I caught him cheating again. I read the text messages in his phone. He always gets upset whenever I touch his mobile phone. He told me that I verbally abuse him too much and he is now very uncomfortable. He said that if he is cheating it is my fault and he wants a divorce.

My husband blames me every time he cheats. He said I told him that I cheated on him because he cheated on me. I only told him that I cheated on him because I was hurt and I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me. But instead he said I made him lose trust in me and he wants a divorce. I explained to him that I lied because of all the things that he was putting me through. I feel very weak towards this man and I do not know what to do. I feel like I am in another world because I am so confused and do not know how to let go. I do not want to lose my husband.

I would like your advice soon, please. I would be grateful for your assistance.

Initials Withheld

Dear Initials Withheld,

You cannot handle your problem alone. You need professional help. Your husband has not denied that he has cheated and that he continues to cheat. He is blaming you for what he has done. You claim that you do not want to leave him. You want the relationship to continue. It will not be possible for you to live with this man if he continues his lifestyle.

Therefore, I suggest that at least you should make an effort to get professional help in an effort to save this marriage. I really hope, for your sake, that it can be saved. Your husband doesn't seem to care. But I could be wrong.

Pastor