Dear Pastor,

I am a 24-year-old female and have been in a relationship for five years with a 32-year-old man. We love each other very much and talk about getting married. He has a son who is 11 and I have a daughter who is eight. We are a happy family.

At the beginning of the relationship, he was. I was living in Manchester. We love each other so the distance didn't matter. We saw each other as often as we could. He was a single father and I a single mother. After a while, I decided to keep his son in Manchester and send him to school here, so both children were living with me. He would come down to spend time with us every weekend and holidays. The children and I would spend every summer with him in Kingston. It has been like that for the last four years.

By now, we got tired of living like that, going back and forth all the time, so we came to an agreement that we would get an apartment in Kingston, since that is where he works. He thought about it and told me we should get the apartment in Mandeville since the kids were in school here, and he didn't want them to change school, so we agreed. We got the apartment and he moved down, so he would drive to work every morning. We are happy more than ever because we are all under the same roof.

After about five months of living together, things changed. Normally I would go out with my friends on weekends to party and clubs, or wherever, to have a good time. He is not the party type and I am cool with that. When he lived in Kingston, I would tell him whenever I was going out and he would say, "OK have fun and just be careful." Now that we live together, he doesn't want me to go anywhere. I have to ditch all my friends and just be a house wife.

I do all I have to do as the woman of the house, but I don't get time to enjoy myself anymore. It is like I am now a prisoner. When my friends want us to get together, I have to tell them I can't because he gets upset and tells me that is not the life I am supposed to live.

I don't see anything wrong with going out to have a drink and party a little. Because of this, things are not the same anymore. I miss my friends. I miss going out. I just wish things would go back to the way it was when we weren't living together. We argue all the time about me wanting to go to parties and I feel like I want to break up with him, because I am not a house mouse and that is what he wants me to be.

He thinks I am not ready to settle down and have a family, but that is not it. I need my time to go out and have fun. That is all.

Please give me your advise.

M.E., Manchester

Dear M.E.,

You are giving the impression you are not ready to settle down. Every woman wants to go out from time to time, but you seem to want to do so too often. You are not giving the impression you are ready for a family. You are accusing this man of wanting to make you a 'house mouse'.

I am sure you are wrong. You have to decide whether you prefer your friends and parties more than this man. He is not asking you to choose one. He is just telling you that according to your behaviour, you are not ready to settle down, and he is quiet correct.

Pastor