RSS Feed
Follow us on Twitter
Star YouTube Channel
Dear Pastor,
I enjoy reading your column and I think you give wonderful advice, and I hope that you can do the same for me. I am a teen who just turned 18, and I am not happy.
I have a boyfriend and my parents know about him and even met him, but lately they are acting differently. At one point, I could talk to my mother about anything, but now I don't even trust her. All my life I have done everything my parents asked me to do, and now that I have a boyfriend, I have committed a crime. They say that I should ask if I want to go out with him etc., and that is what I did. But when I do that, they argue with me and say all I want to do is go out with my boyfriend, so I don't ask them anymore. Any chance I get to see him, I take it.
I am not happy because I can't talk to my parents and if I try, they don't listen to me. I hate the fact that they don't trust me. Now, they are trying to separate me and my boyfriend, and they complain about every choice I have made in my life. They say they want the best for me and I believe that, but at the same time, I want to live my life myself and make my own mistakes.
Pastor, I even broke up with my boyfriend just to please my parents, but then I realised it only saddened me more, so I got back with him. I want them to guide me, not to dictate my life, because I am old enough to make my own decision. I don't want to disrespect them, and I love them, but I am miserable. Most nights I cry myself to sleep asking the Lord to help me, but nothing has changed.
The relationship between me and my parents is slowly fading, and I don't know what to do because I don't want to break up with my boyfriend, but I also want to please my parents and show them I am not ungrateful, because they say that I am.
I usually keep my problems to myself or talk to my mother, but since our relationship has drifted apart, I have no one to talk to and now I stay by myself a lot. It is not healthy to do so, but my parents won't listen to me. I really need your advice because I can't endure my problems anymore. It has even reached the point where my parents are comparing me to other children and saying my future is dull, and I intend to prove them wrong. but how can I when I can't focus?
Sad Child
Dear Sad Child,
I am sure that your parents have given you reasons why you should not establish a serious relationship with the man you consider to be your boyfriend. You have complained bitterly about their attitude towards you, but you have not said anything about this man or what you told your parents about him.
Some parents don't like their teenagers to become emotionally involved with the opposite sex too soon. They prefer that they use their time in pursuing an education. You seem to be eager to go steady and I believe that is what is causing the problem between your parents and yourself. Your focus right now is on this man and you are rebelling against your parents. The relationship between your parents and yourself will improve when you change your attitude towards them and accept their suggestions. Parents are not always right, but most times they are. Don't argue with them. Reason with them, but don't give them the impression that because you are 18 years old you can do whatever you want to do while you are living in their house. You claim that you want to make your own mistakes. However, some mistakes are so deadly that it would take years to recover, and sometimes it is impossible to overcome them.
Pastor
