Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years and having a problem. When I was 15, I had a boyfriend. He was 20. He always used to ask me for sex but I never gave it to him. When I was 16, he took me out and first time we were to have sex, but my period came and I was having belly pain so he took me to Half-Way Tree and put me in a taxi and sent me home.

Two months after, he left the island and I cried for days. He never called me, so I got another boyfriend. He took my virginity and we are going together. My first boyfriend has come back to Jamaica and wants me back. I told him I have another boyfriend. He said I should leave him. My grandmother told him he should leave me alone because he is a big man and I am going to school.

Dear pastor, I do not know what to do because every day he waits for me near the bus stop. He knows my boyfriend but my boyfriend doesn't know him. I am very worried because he said that he must get me back, even if he has to blow my boyfriend away. Sometimes I feel like telling my boyfriend about him but I am afraid.

E.A., St Andrew

Dear E.A.,

This young man who left you and went abroad is behaving as if he owns you. He should not have been encouraging you to have sex, even before you had reached the age of consent. He doesn't respect you. He is one of the guys who believe the only purpose of a woman is to have sex. He went abroad and did not even keep in touch with you. Now that he is back, he believes he has the right to walk back into your life and you should do what he wants you to do.

This man won't take no for an answer. You told him you have another boyfriend, yet he is still trying to push himself on you. You have not told your boyfriend about him, but you should. If he threatens you, you should tell your grandmother and report the matter to the police. Whenever he shows up at the bus stop, or wherever, do not go with him anywhere and do not take any money from him at all. Do not act as if you are afraid of him. Just remind him you have a boyfriend and you do not want anyone else in your life.

Pastor