Dear Pastor,

Please accept greetings for yourself and your staff. In 2005, I was travelling into Kingston and I struck up a conversation with a woman who was sitting alone. She said she was going to visit her brother and his wife. I gave her my telephone number and took hers. About 10 p.m., she called me and we talked. I thought my wife was sleeping. When I was finished talking to her, my wife asked me who was the person I had to lie to her.

The next day, I called her and we decided to meet. I did not tell her I was married. After a few days, we went out again and we had sex. My wife read some text messages she sent me and found out that I had sex with this woman. Now, my marriage is in trouble. She called the woman and asked her if I did not tell her that I was married, and she said no.

My wife has moved out of the bedroom and told me that she would not have sex with me again until I take an AIDS test. I told her that I had used a condom, but she is not listening to me at all. She wants me to tell her everything that I did with this woman. If I were to tell her, I am afraid she will leave me because I have never had oral sex with my wife. I had it with this woman and I liked it.

My wife is still sleeping in the children's room and I am sleeping by myself. I can't stand what she is doing.

Do you think I should do an AIDS test?

A.S.

Dear A.S.,

You didn't have to lie to the woman you met on the bus. You showed that you have a weakness of character. You fooled the woman you met on the bus. She believed you were single.

I can understand why your wife is insisting that you do an AIDS test. Stop ignoring her suggestions. If you want her to forgive you, and for both of you to be reconciled, go and do the AIDS test. Please ask the young woman you met on the bus to forgive you for lying to her and for using her sexually.

Pastor