Dear Pastor,

First of all, I want to say that I am a Jamaican and that I was living in America but I have come home. But I am disappointed with what I see happening in the land, coupled by the fact that since I am back, my wife has got involved with another man. While we were living in America, I didn't have the problem that I am having with her now. She was an active churchgoer and took part in church. She is a nurse, so sometimes she was working at nights. She is not working anymore, but she is keeping a man with me.

You may ask me how I found out. I heard her talking to the man on the phone. He is not living in Jamaica, but he came to Jamaica on holidays and my wife went and stayed with him for three days. One of my neighbours saw them on the north coast together.

Pastor, I am 70 years old and I am very frustrated and disappointed with life in general. I have one son and he told me I should sell out and come to Florida to live with him. I don't know what to do. My wife told me that she doesn't want anything to do with me again. My heart is broken. My wife is 60 years old. And the man she is having an affair with is 50 and he is a married man.

Please help me. I need your help.

A.N., Manchester

Dear A.N.,

I am sorry to hear that life has not been kind to you since you have returned to Jamaica. And the behaviour of your wife has become your major concern. If indeed she is having a relationship with another man, that can cause you to become depressed. Surely you are not a young man. If you were young, you would have been able to deal with this matter much easier. But now you have retired and you were looking forward to a life of happiness with your wife until death.

Perhaps you should take your son's advice and go and spend some time with him at his home in Florida. I know that not all parents like to move into their children's home. But it may help you, even for a time. Sometimes when a couple is having problems, temporary separation can help.

Another step that you should seriously consider taking is to suggest to your wife that both of you should go and see the family counsellor. I know she told you that she does not want to have anything to do with you, but perhaps that was said in anger. If she does not agree to go, don't try to force her.

Brother, there must be a reason why your wife at the age of 60 is cheating with a much younger man. If both of you were to go to a counsellor, you may find out her reasons. In the meantime, try your best to remain calm and take care of yourself.

Pastor