Dear Pastor,

I am in love with a man who lives in Jamaica. I met him three years ago while I was attending the funeral of my uncle in Jamaica. He was driving a robot taxi. And my friend and I hired him to take us around. After three days of getting to know him, I became sexually involved with him.

For the first time in my life, I asked a man to have sex with me. I didn't care what my friend thought about me. I wanted to give this guy a goodbye by having sex with him. She told me that I was behaving as a prostitute. But when we went back to America, she admitted that she likes the guy too.

for the money

I am having problems now because my friend told my children's father that I have a man in Jamaica. This man and I have two children together, but I am not in love with him. Sometimes we sleep together, but I do so not out of love but for money, because what he is giving me for the children is not enough to support me and I am only working in a nursing home three days per week. Whenever we have sex, he gives me extra money.

I would like to go back to Jamaica and marry the man I got involved with, but he doesn't have much and he is living at his mother's home. He is begging me to come back and marry him because he wants to live in America. But pastor, I am not making enough to sponsor him.

Jamaican man

I am asking you for your advice. Day and night I think about my Jamaican man and how I can get him to be with me in America. I only find one fault with him and that is he smokes marijuana, but he promised to stop.

R.L., New York

Dear R.L.,

I could see why your girlfriend considered that you were cheap. Both of you came to Jamaica to attend a funeral and in three days you went to bed with the taxi man. How could you be so hot during the period of mourning? That was indeed

very fast.

You claim that your friend told your children's father what took place between you and the taxi man. And she did that out of spite because she was also in love with him. Whether or not she loved the guy, when you offered sex to him after knowing him for only three days, you gave the impression that you are easy to get. You called having sex with him a goodbye.

I suggest that you concentrate on trying to get yourself a permanent job. You know that the relationship between you and your children's father is not going well. You shouldn't be in a situation where you have to have sex with a man to get some money out of him.

I further suggest that you tell the taxi man in Jamaica the truth. Do not give him the impression that you can assist him by marrying him and filing for him to live in America. You can hardly help yourself. So don't give him the impression that all is well with you. Tell him the truth and allow him to find a woman in Jamaica who is free.

Pastor