Dear Pastor,

I am 35 and I am married for almost a year. I live in Canada and my husband lives in Jamaica. I am worried already about the marriage and I would like for us to get counselling.

For the past four-six weeks, my husband has been acting really strange and I feel he has someone out there in Jamaica that he is willing to ruin the marriage for. I am not condoning cheating by any means, but I am not naïve. However, I know that he is seeing someone as I am not there.

This is not what bothers me. What bothers me is that I have been with this man and he has never had another woman present herself to me. He has never given me any reason to feel insecure until now.

He is adding on to his home that he purchased and I am due to get my NHT refund. The representative said that he has to put my name on the title so that I can get the money to complete his home. He refused. I asked him why he did not want to add my name on the title. I tried to find out whether it is because another person's name (his mom) is on it and he said it is because I am adamant about putting my name on the title. This is crap as my suggestion is that we should complete this house and then purchase another house in the future.

I have been sending money to him to complete the house. He told me that neither his mother nor anyone else has money in the house, but another time he slipped and said that his mother has given him money towards purchasing and building the house right now. This is upsetting to me, so I told him that I don't feel comfortable with that because we already owe his mother money.

He told me that the money his mother gave him is not a loan and she is not expecting anything back, but the money that I have been sending to him is just a loan; so I should not comment on his spending and his house and he will pay me back.

What is happening now is causing me to have a second thought about the marriage. Based on these and a lot more incidents recently, this is where I stand. I am going to calculate all the monies I sent to him and whatever I have assisted him with before, put it into a contract and have him sign it. I have stopped sending money to him.

I am thinking about divorcing him.

Please, let me know what steps I should take. Thank you in advance for blessing me with your expertise and assistance on these issues.

God's blessings to you.

N.P.,

Dear N.P.,

Judging from what you have said, it is evident that your husband does not want your name to be added to his title. You believe that his mother's name is on the title. If her name is already there, he may feel that if anything happens to him she should get the house and not you.

I suggest that you leave this issue alone and that you seek professional advice from an attorney-at-law.

Pastor