Dear Pastor,

I have found myself in a situation in which I never thought that I would be. I had a boyfriend when I was in high school and the relationship lasted for five years. After I left high school he wanted me to have a baby by him, which I never wanted so we broke up.

I had a second boyfriend for two years, but then we broke up because I started a new school in a different parish and I had to board at the institution. Whenever I called him, he was always saying things like "I can't bother with this." At first he had agreed to stick around until I finish studying, but the relationship ended before.

After six months of being alone, I became friendly with another guy. Now that I am on holidays, I am glad that I have found someone to hang out with back home. But he has a girlfriend. He told me that she is abroad and that they have been together for five years. He said every time he talks to her, the relationship seems like it is drowning.

Our relationship was one that was to be a platonic, but I don't know what went wrong. Both of us are having feelings for each other. We hugged, then we kissed and even started touching each other. I don't know how I ended up being such a rude girl. I know that I am beautiful, sexy and very attractive.

This guy has his girlfriend so I can't tell why we are behaving like this, especially me, and I would never want my man to cheat on me. I have never cheated on any of my ex-boyfriends and I just can't seem to know why. Many times I ask myself how I ended up in this, even when I said I am not going to see him, I still see him.

Pastor, I need your advice on this matter to see how I can deal with this situation.

J.E.

Dear J.E.,

If you don't want to get into trouble you stay far away from trouble. A driver doesn't drive his car a few inches from the edge of a precipice to prove that he is so skilled that he won't go over the precipice. He would be a fool to take that risk. He stays far from the precipice.

You have got yourself involved with a man who has told you that he has a girlfriend. She is living abroad, but she is his woman. He should be commended for telling you the truth. You have got to like him and you have started to toy with his body. You are playing the fool. Have you forgotten that he is a man? If you touch where you shouldn't touch and he becomes aroused, it is likely that he will put you on your back and "give it to you" and you would have no one to blame but yourself.

You are begging for it and you will get it, and you will likely end up being used and he will become another number of the list of men you have gone to bed with. Therefore, if you don't want to fall off the "cliff," don't go close to it. Stop going out with this man. No more touching him up, resist the temptation to call him because trouble is on the horizon.

Pastor