Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column in THE STAR because it is interesting and helpful. Keep up the good work.

I am having some problems and I would like your fatherly advice. I am a young lady in my 30s and I have five children. Lately, my life has taken a terrible twist into a nightmare.

I have been living with my common-law husband for the past 10 years. We have two daughters together: ages nine and five. I really love this man. I do my own business.

In March 2010, I helped him to get a steady job. I thought that we were perfect and could achieve all our dreams, but things took a severe twist in August of that year. He suddenly disappeared for a week. He amazingly reappeared and returned home and told me he needed some space. I was worried about him. The following day he told me he needed to chill out and he was going to stay with his mother. Being the person I am, I allowed him without questioning him.

cheating

One week later, I found out that he was cheating with a woman who is living overseas. I confronted him and told him that if he wanted to be free he could go but make sure he supports his children both emotionally and financially.

He left and returned two days from his chilling. Everything was picture perfect again. I went to work, leaving him with his children. Later in the day, I got a call saying that he took his clothes that I bought for him and left the children on their own. A few days later, he came to the house and said that he wanted the children for the day to hang out with him. He took the children and introduced them to his girlfriend and her daughter.

One month later, some police showed up at my workplace to serve me a summons to attend the Family Court because he was seeking full custody of the children. Now, I am on my own. All his family hates me more. His stepmother, father and new mistress abused me verbally. It even got physical where they chased me down with old irons and I got hit with one in my back.

I got a piece of land and have made foundation for a three bed room structure but I cannot go any further because of limited cash.

I am asking for your fatherly advice. And if possible, I am asking for some assistance.

Desperate Mom, St Thomas

Dear Desperate Mom,

Did the court give this man custody of the children? You haven't said in your letter what was the decision of the court. Unfortunately, you allow this man to use you. However, I can see that you are a trying person and you do need some help.

I suggest that you contact Food for the Poor through your local church and ask them for assistance. I wish you well.

Pastor

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