Dear Pastor,

I have known my current boyfriend for about 14 years and we started dating seriously in 2005 (so I thought). It turns out he was cheating on me and ended up having a child, which I found out when the child was three years old. I forgave him and gave our relationship a second chance.

He cheated again and had another child. I found out about this other child when the child was two years old. Like a big fool, I gave it another chance, after breaking up and getting back with him numerous times. So far, everything is going well, but I don't think I can get over it, even though I have tried as much as possible to move on. It would have been different if he had used protection so that his kids wouldn't be a reminder that he had cheated.

having second thoughts

The problem now is that I am pregnant for him and I am having second thoughts about actually carrying the baby to full term. I don't think he knows that I resent him for everything that he did. Sometimes I think I want to be with him but deep down I don't know if I want to be with him.

I know that you will say abortion is wrong but I thought I wanted a family with him, and now that I am actually pregnant I am not so sure. I think that the only reason why I wanted to have a child with him was because he got the two women pregnant, and now that I am in this position I don't think I want anything to do with him at all.

I feel disgusted, mad, sad and betrayed. They say that children usually pay for their parents' mistakes but I don't want to bring a child into this world with all this drama. Sometimes I just want to kill myself so that I don't have to deal with all this nonsense.

Please give me your advice.

Pregnant Girlfriend

Dear Pregnant Girlfriend,

You have had enough time to think about whether you should have continued with this man. You knew that he had other women in his life and you kept forgiving him. You wanted to get pregnant by him. If you didn't, you would have protected yourself. It just does not make any sense now talking about not wanting to carry the pregnancy. If you didn't want this man, you should have left him permanently long ago.

Carry the pregnancy, and if you want to end the relationship it is totally up to you. How could you hate this man so much and at the same time allowed him to get you pregnant and you didn't have to continue the relationship? There must be something good about this man why you have remained with him.

Pastor

DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE 929-1667/8 EMAIL: PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM