Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I met a guy on Boxing Day 2010 and we became friends. I told him that I graduated from high school a few months before ,and he said he left high school three years ago. We started to go out and we fell in love with each other. I was surprised when he told me that he has a babymother and they are living together. I asked him why he took so long to tell me and he said he didn't want to lose me, that is why he didn't tell me when we started to go out.

I have come to love this man but I am only 17 years of age and I don't want to have any man who has a babymother. Pastor, do you know what is hurtful? This man told me about his babymother after he had sex with me for the first time and took my virginity. And whenever I think about it, I cry a lot.

Please tell me what you think about it.

H.S., Clarendon

Dear H.S.,

This guy deceived you. He did not tell you that he fathered a child and living with the child's mother. He knew exactly what he was doing. Perhaps from talking to you, he knew that you wouldn't want to be intimate with a man who is living with another woman, so he played along until he had sex with you and then broke the news to you.

That was a very cruel thing to do. He played with your emotions. Perhaps he is like so many young men who believe that there is something special about having sex with as many virgin as possible.

I suggest that you end the relationship with him. And that you do not worry over what has happened. You made a mistake but comfort your heart with the thought that you will learn from the mistake you made. And there are many others who have made similar mistakes. Tell this guy it is over and don't go anywhere with him, regardless how much he tries to persuade you. He doesn't deserve you.

Pastor