I am living in Florida and I have been dating my high school boyfriend for 10 years. Two years ago, I rented an apartment with his cousin's ex-girlfriend, because she didn't have anywhere to live and I was trying to help her. She slept with my boyfriend, and it has been so hard to accept the fact of what happened under my nose that I cannot allow myself to trust a man anymore.

Pastor, it hurts like hell. I have not been able to find an experienced person to talk to and all I do is just cry. The worst part is that I am so in love with him that I allowed myself to sleep with him after breaking up for a year.

Please tell me how to move on and accept the fact that he cheated on me in the same house. Sometimes he calls me and even ask me for US$10.00, and I give him from the goodness of my heart, but he is using me as he knows that I am God-fearing and kind.

M.R.

Dear M.R.,

You have to stop considering this man as your boyfriend. See him as a bum, an unprogressive bum and a user. And you should not blame yourself for what happened between the young woman and him.

Do not judge all men by his standard and conduct, and it would be wrong for a man to judge all women by the conduct of the woman you took into your house.

In your mind, consider this man dead. Only an unambitious man would be begging a woman $10. He is indeed a bum. Learn to tell him no.

Pastor