Dear Pastor,

I am having some problems. I was dating a guy for over four years. He recently told me that he has a child with another girl. I know the girl very well. Although he cheated on me, I still love him. I feel very hurt because this girl cannot even step in my shoes and I am prettier than she is. She is short and fat and I have a lovely shape. Lots of guys go for me but I keep them away. I cannot tell my parents this guy has a child with another girl.

They told me I should never marry a man who has children or a child. Since I found out he has another girlfriend, I stop having sex with him. I don't trust him anymore. And because I am not having any sex with him, he is accusing me of having another man, but I do not. I love him but sometimes I don't love him. Please help me.

W.R., Portland

Dear W.R.,

You cannot be sure what this man will do. You are just one of his girls. He may or may not marry you. If you are prepared to take the advice of your parents, you wouldn't go further with this relationship. But your parents cannot make decisions for you because you are an adult. Perhaps they told you not to marry someone with a child or children, because children sometimes born out of wedlock cause problems in a marriage. But that does not have to be so.

You should let your parents know your boyfriend has got involved with another woman. You should never be afraid to tell them about your love life. They want the best for you.

Pastor