Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and my boyfriend is 29. I am feeling suicidal because this man and I have been friends for three years. I got pregnant for him and I lost the baby. And at the same time when I was pregnant, another girl was pregnant for him and she has her baby. And she is showing off on me. I want to get pregnant again, but my boyfriend doesn't want me to get pregnant again. He said I must concentrate on going to school.

I went to an obeah man and he told me what to do to tie my boyfriend to me. But it seems as if my boyfriend found out that I went to see the obeah man and he stopped eating from me. And every time when we are to have sex, even if I bathe before, he wants me to bathe again. He said he can't stand the smell of what I put on my skin, but it is what the obeah man gave for me to use.

If I don't get this man, I don't know what is going to happen to me.

J.A., Kingston

Dear J.A.,

You are a young girl. Perish the thought about trying to tie your boyfriend to you! You have wasted your money by going to the obeah man. Evidently, your boyfriend has come to realise that something is wrong. Suddenly, you have changed by using a terrible perfume and he has become suspicious of you. He knows also that you are jealous of the other girl who has a child by him. So it is likely that you will do anything to 'hold him'.

He is not eating from you, but he will have sex with you after you have taken a shower. He doesn't trust you anymore. You are wasting your time by trying to tie this man. If he wants to end the relationship with you, he will do so. Nothing can prevent him from doing so. He will not eat anything from you because he suspects that you will give him bad belly.

He has been encouraging you to go back to school and that is exactly what you should do. If this man wants the relationship to continue with you, he will do so without your trying to force him.

Pastor