Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old young man and I have two girlfriends. I took their virginities. The first one was my neighbour when I was living in the Kingston 5 area. She was always fooling around me and wouldn't go home after school. She was 16 years old at the time, now she is 17. She used to come by the house, and when I cooked, I used to give her food because most times she used to go to bed hungry.

My mother is a higgler and whenever she comes home, I used to have food ready. I am her only child. People used to tell her that I have women at the house, but my mother would tell them that I am as bad as my father, who used to have lots of women.

We moved from the area but I still see this girl because we still love each other. I give her money as often as I can. I work as a conductor on a bus and I have since met another girl. She behaves as if she is a hottie hottie. She comes on the bus with her friends and wants them to have free ride.

She skipped school and came by my house once when I had a day-off. Based on her behaviour in the past, I had no idea she was a virgin. I started having sex with her but felt bad afterwards because I did not know that she was a virgin. If she had told me that she was a virgin, I wouldn't have had sex with her.

I don't have to give this girl anything because she comes from a good home. My only problem is that she behaves as if she is hot. She is 17 years old going into 18. I told her that I have a girlfriend, but she doesn't believe me because she has never seen me with any. She is a Christian and she is very bright. She wants to become a doctor. And she wants me to get another job and to go back to school, because she believes that the man who took her virginity should marry her.

Pastor, I love these two girls, but I respect this one more and I don't think I could leave any of them. I have sex regularly with the first one, but I hardly have sex with the other.

B.E., St Catherine

Dear B.E.,

The young lady who was your neighbour got your food and she gave you sex in return. Perhaps that's not how she looked at it. Perhaps she believes that is the natural thing for a young man and a young woman to do when they are in love.

When young people are together without supervision, they are likely to engage in sex. If this girl used to go home after leaving school in the evening and knew that she would have dinner, probably she would not had visited you so often. But she loves you and she knew that you would give her dinner and sex came into play. And although you are not living in the area anymore, both of you continue to be lovers and both of you are still having sex.

You do not intend to leave her because she is meeting your sexual needs and you feel obligated to her. And you feel that it is your duty to support her financially.

But what about the other young woman? You claim that she is a hottie hottie, but clearly she is an intelligent young woman and you were judging her by her actions. She has ambition and she is working towards her goals. She is a person with high ideals and she wants to encourage you to get an education. After you had sex with her you were sorry because you did not know that she was a virgin. You thought that because she had associated herself so freely with you, that she was a loose girl and was sexually active.

Young man, you are going to have to make a decision. You are not proving that you are a man by being wild. You are very young. Decide which one of these young women you love more and stick with her. But regardless of what happens, one will be badly hurt.

Pastor