DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM? IS SOMETHING BOTHERING YOU? WRITE TO: TELL ME PASTOR, DR AARON DUMAS, PO BOX 188, KING STREET, KINGSTON. TELEPHONE 929-1667/8 EMAIL PASTOR@JAMAICASTAR.COM

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem with my wife and I would like your advice. My wife and I have been married for 18 years. We have been together for 32 years now. We are both 50. We have three children - 32, 28 and 21, a daughter and two sons.

In 1991, we got married and, in 1992, I found out she was having an affair. I think this started before we got married but I found out after. I had mdae a mistake back in 1987, which she did not know about until 1995. This is because a child was involved. This was a one-night stand. When she found out, she took it very bad, and I don't think she forgave me although I forgave her for what she had done in 1992. I have never made another mistake since and I think

I have more than compensated her for what I did.

difference in her attitude

In November 2007, her grandmother died in Jamaica. I made sure she could go with all the members of her family. When she came back to England, I noticed a difference in her attitude. She wanted to tell me something but her mother said that she should make it be her little secret. In November 2008, she said she wanted to go back to Jamaica with our grandchild and her workmate. Her workmate wanted to know about Jamaica, so I asked my friend who lives in the same area to take them around. He is a very trustworthy person.

In November 2010, she asked to go back to spend some quality time with her sister and her father. She took her work friend with her. I only came back five months from buying a piece of land, so she knew it was too early for me to go back at the time. I sent and booked the hotel for them where we normally stay when we are in Jamaica. When she returned to England at the end of November, I noticed her attitude changed just like 2007, so I said to her that it would be nice for both of us to go back for a two-week break. I work at nights so it would be nice just for both of us. She said to me she enjoyed being by herself better than when I am around her. I took that as an insult, and I was very upset because I am the one paying for her trips.

I knew something was not right, so I checked her handbag one day and found two receipts stating she had sent money to a man in Jamaica. When I asked her, she denied it so I showed her the receipts. She was shocked and said she was going to tell me she had sent £150 in January and £150 in February of 2011. I asked her if she had sent any more money to this man, who she said is her childhood sweetheart, and she said no.

I asked the money-transfer firm to send me a print out for all money sent to that person from 2007 to 2011, it was 16 more times she sent money to this man. Sometimes she sent £300, £400, £200 and sometimes twice for the month. I got to find out that she met him in 2007.

My wife was going to clean me out for this man and leave me for him. Now, she is asking me to forgive her. This is the fourth time she has given me 'bun.' I trusted her so much that I did not notice. I don't think I could go back to Jamaica with her. She will get me killed. I work on night shift and she is always talking to him. Pastor, please, tell me what to do. I am hurting inside.

Hurting Husband, England

Dear Hurting Husband,

This woman would take you not just to the poorhouse, but to the madhouse. She is a wicked and conniving and untrustworthy woman. She doesn't love you. If you keep this woman in your life, you will walk and talk to yourself all over England, even when the weather is bad.

It is time for you to seek the help of an attorney-at-law. I don't have to spell out everything to you. Grown men are not to allow devious women to destroy them.

Pastor