Dear Pastor,

I have been a reader of your column in the Star for years now and I am truly pleased with how you respond to people's problems. I am 25 and I am a successful career achiever. My boyfriend is 26 and we are presently living together. He is also an achiever. He is a doctor and I am too.

I am writing for your advice on a situation we have in our relationship which has been going on for weeks. It is something I sometimes wonder about. We have been together for five to six years now and we have made our sex life extremely great.

sex life incredible

The problem is that he is getting these sexual ideas that disturb me. These ideas are things such as: threesome (which is between him, his friend and me), pornographic acts (like me being handcuffed to the bed and others) and the list goes on. What I can't get is that we have succeeded in making our sex life incredible by acting as characters, such as: me dressing up as someone who needs to be rescued and him as the police or fireman coming to my aid; me as a stripper and him as the overworked man; me as the patient and him as the doctor; all of these aspects, so I don't know why all of a sudden he chooses to change.

One other thing is that we explore all the rooms in our house, the bedroom, kitchen, living room, washroom, even the balcony (at night only). During the past week, he has been asking me to have sex with him in the car at nights and at work in the staff break room. And because we are the first doctors to arrive, he wants to do it at the front desk before everyone comes.

change a few things

I don't know if I am over exaggerating and I should just go with it or tell him "hell no." I don't want to end our relationship that we have for so long just because he wants to change a few things.

This is where I need your advice to handle the situation I am faced with. Please give me your truthful response so I can fix this problem of mine.

Wondering Girlfriend, Kingston

Dear Wondering Girlfriend,

Your man has become bored. Both of you have tried many different aspects of love making, but he is not satisfied. He wants more. And that is why he wants to explore. He wants to do more weird and kinky things.

You went wrong by allowing this man to have his own way from the beginning of the relationship. Evidently, you have never said no to his requests, so he feels that he can make more demands of you. Both of you are not even married, and from what you have written, this relationship is purely sexual.

threesome

I know that I am right because all you have mentioned is how, when and where both of you have had sex. He believes that it is time to have a threesome. That is not something that you should consider, or even write for my opinion. You should have turned down that request the moment he said it. Have you consider that this man does not respect you? If he respected you, he wouldn't even suggest that another man or woman should join both of you in having sex.

Please understand that any relationship that is only sexual will not last. So whether you agree to a threesome or not, it is only a matter of time before this relationship is broken up.

Pastor