Dear Pastor,

I really like to read your column in the Star because it is interesting and helpful at the same time. I am asking for your fatherly advice. I am 19 years old and from the time I graduated from high school, which is last July, I have been sending out job applications to numerous organisations and until now I can't get a job. To tell you the truth, I got a call for an interview but they haven't called back.

I am so depressed with my life because I am jobless. I want to go back to school to further my studies but don't know what to pursue. I have four subjects. I am tired of depending on my parents, even though they don't complain, but the truth is, its only my father who is working and I can see that he is stressed out because of bills and taking care of me and my 15-year-old brother.

I hate myself for having so much pride. The reason why I say this is because I am a 19-year-old girl and I do not have a boyfriend. I am insecure with my body. This has been going on since I was younger and because of this, I am anti-social, introvert and withdrawn from the outside world even with my family and my friends. I don't party at all like regular teens, not only because of my body problems, but also because I don't have clothes and it is all because of my pride.

proud people

My mother says that God hates proud people and I am wondering if He hates me because I am full with pride. I wish I could change my personality. When people look at me all they see is an angry miserable face and sometimes I don't know until they say to me, "Are you okay or is something wrong with you?" Sometimes I wonder why they ask me that but then I would realise that my facial expression tells them that I am angry.

I want to go to audition at Pulse to become a model but I am scared because of my body. Because of these stupid problems, I am suicidal. In case you are wondering why I hate my body so much, it is because my right thigh and leg is bigger than my left thigh and leg. I don't think it is normal, because it is very obvious to the point where people would stare at me, and it is very stressful and frustrating.

I need your advice on how I can get rid of this weight on my right side and how can I stop being so depressed and having so much pride. I really need your advice because I am afraid to talk to anyone about my problem.

Sometimes I wonder if it is because they are not educated enough to recognise these types of problems. I wish I was in a different family. I don't speak to them about it because they don't listen anyway.

Depressed Teenager,

Dear Depressed Teenager,

I suggest that you try to see a medical doctor and tell him/her exactly how you feel about your body. Tell him/her that you are uncomfortable about your weight and what you have observed about your leg and other parts of your body. Sometimes when people go to see the doctor, they are afraid to express themselves. But doctors want to know what patients are feeling. So don't be afraid to talk. Let the doctor know that you feel suicidal and that you would like to see someone who would help you to deal with your depression. The doctor will not ignore what you have said.

Concerning a job, I understand the difficulty you are facing but please do not give up. Be willing to take any type of job that might be available, which means that you should be willing to work in a grocery store, gas station, etc. Knock on every store and supermarket or let everybody in the community know that you will be willing to do baby-sitting to earn an honest bread.

Pastor