Dear Pastor,

I hardly have time to read your column but when I do, I really enjoy your encouraging words. I am not sure of my problem right now but I thought I would congratulate you for the wonderful work you are doing.

I am a 20-year-old virgin and I am really proud of that. I am not a Christian and I was raised in a middle class family in the ghetto, consisting of two sisters, aunt, nieces and nephew. I am on my way to success as I am in an accredited university and things seem to be working out, thank God for that. But what bothers me is that I fear that in the future I might be lonely.

I am a beautiful young lady; so I have been told by both sexes and I do believe that. I am a versatile and very down to earth person. Some people say that I am too down to earth. I always tend to meet some nice guys with good financial position but after they find out that I am a virgin, they start watching me like an eagle and it seems like sex is all they are interested in.

My last relationship was about two years ago. And surprisingly, I am not worried about being lonely now, because attending university made me realise that everything except coursework is an option. A lot of people, including my own family members, don't even know that I am a virgin, and I wish not to discuss it with them but I will discuss it with you.

Pastor, I really don't know what is wrong with males now, but all they tend to be interested in is sex and for that reason I am worried. I am not into males for what they can offer me.

My parents did and still continue to do their best in providing for me. I just want a guy who can really and honestly accept and love me for who I am. A meaningful relationship and I can guarantee that I will do just the same.

Your advice is warmly welcome. Thank you for your time. Take care.

C.F.,

Dear C.F.,

You say that you are proud to be a virgin. So you don't need to be concerned about what others may think about you. Neither should you be telling everybody that you are a virgin. It is nobody's business but your own.

You have already come to realise that most men are prowlers and they are always seeking to see how many women they can "capture," so to speak, and take to bed. It is therefore up to you to put your cards on the table and to protect yourself. And you have been successful in doing so, so far.

You need not fear of being lonely in the future. You are only 20 years old and it is likely that you will find a man who will respect you and be very happy that he has found a virgin to be his wife.

You give the impression that although you are proud to be a virgin, you are questioning whether it makes sense for you to remain in that state. You claim that all the guys you meet, after hearing that you are a virgin walk away from you. You should be glad that they do because that should tell you that all they are interested in is getting under your skirt.

Pastor