Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I am in love with a young lady. When I first saw her, it was love at first sight. My friends have told me that "love at first sight" is not "long and lasting love". My pastor said that love at first sight is lusting after a woman or a woman lusting after a man, so I should give the relationship time to prove itself.

I know that I am not lusting after my girlfriend, and I know it is not infatuation. My girlfriend feels the same about me. We are in love and we want to be together. We want to get married. She is 18 years old and she is in college.

Her parents are not excited about our relationship. They think we should get to know each other better. But we feel suited for each other and we "make out" a lot.

Don't you think it is better for us to get married?

A.P., New York, USA

Dear A.P.,

I suspect that your friends, your pastor and the young women's parents are just trying to tell your girlfriend and you, to be cautious and not to be in a hurry to get married. They are trying to tell you that you should get to know each other well before you say, "I do".

Some people say that love at first sight is not possible. On the other hand, there are many, many couples who have met and have fallen in love at first sight and have lived happily for many years.

I don't agree with your pastor that loving a person at first sight is lusting. To lust is to have a sinful desire towards another person. That person is obsessed with the desire to have sex with the other.

Love on the other hand is desiring the highest good of the other person. Read what Jesus says about lust in Mathew 5: 27-28.

I suggest that this young woman and yourself go to see a marriage counsellor before you decide whether or not you are ready to get married.

Pastor