Dear Pastor,

Keep up your good work. I am so confused and I'm in need of your help. I am in love with a wonderful guy. We were together when we were younger but we split up. After that, we went our separate ways. He had a child and I had one too. I moved to America and went back to Jamaica on vacation and I saw him. He had just gotten out of a relationship, and I was single too. We started talking until we got close again.

He is a great guy and it was my fault why we broke up because I was young at the time. We kept in touch when I came back and we decided to rekindle our flame. I would go down to see him all the time and he has a visa, so he can come to America whenever he wants. He has a good job so he wants to stay in Jamaica for now.

We are now a year in our relationship and he wants to go into church so he wants us to get married. He asked me a couple of times, but I never answered until he told me with or without me he is going into church. I don't want to lose him, so I agreed. I love him and I believe he loves me.

The problem is that we are planning to get married soon and it is a secret. Our family knows about us and my grandmother encourages us. My family loves him and everything, but whenever I talk about marriage, my dad would always say that I am too young. I am 24 and he is 28. My mother says that he is a great guy but it is too fast, so I'm scared to tell them.

His family doesn't care really, but sometimes they question him and ask him if he is sure I am not cheating on him, which I am not now. I don't know what to do. I don't want to have a big wedding without telling them, because I know they would not agree.

Do you think we are moving too fast? Thanks for your help.

A.L.,

Dear A.L.,

This guy and you are not too young to get married. And your relatives and his relatives should not get involved in this matter. They should keep their opinions to themselves.

This man and you have known each other for a long time. Both of you have made mistakes, and evidently, both of you have forgiven each other. If you believe that it is time for you to get married, do so.

However, I suggest that you inform relatives on both sides of your decision. You don't have to invite everybody if you are planning to have a small wedding. But at least they will not be able to say that they didn't know about it.

Pastor