Dear Pastor,

I am 15 and living with my father and stepmother. My stepmother doesn't like me. I came to live with my father when I was 12, going on 13. My father was not yet married to this lady. She used to sleep at the house sometimes. After the wedding, she moved in. She told my father he should send me back to my mother and my father said he wants me wherever he lives.

She tells lies on me and says I am lazy. My father does not believe her. She wants me to do all the hard work in the house. When I can't keep up, she complains to my father. One day she told my father he was behaving as if we were husband and wife and she is the child.

She has threatened to leave. My father told her it was up to her, but he is not putting me out. My father told me to cook for myself but not to use anything she buys.

Sometimes I feel uncomfortable, but my father said I must make myself comfortable because I am his only child, and what he has is mine. So I am asking for your advice.

Y.W.,

Dear Y.W.,

Obey your father. Cook your own meals, wash and iron your clothes, clean the house, etc. Do what your stepmother instructs you to do also. Don't be rude to her at all. When you have to go out, don't only ask your father for permission, ask your stepmother too. In fact, say it to the both of them (if possible) when they are together.

Perhaps your stepmother is a little jealous of the good relationship your father and you share. Perhaps she feels you are in her way, and she does not feel free to do what she wants to do because you are living there.

It may take some months for her to adjust, but she will. In the meantime, make sure you are obedient and respectful to her. Don't behave as if you do not care or that you do not like your stepmother. Please, do not take unnecessary news to your father.

Pastor

'She told my father he should send me back to my mother and my father said to her that he wants me where ever he lives.'