Dear Pastor,

I am desperate for your advice. I have a man friend. He used to live in England, but he came home and fell in love with me.

He is in his early 70s and I am 50. This man is building a house. And one day when I was there, his son told me that his father is too old now to have a woman, so I should go home and not come back. I told him that his father would have to tell me that. He called his father and told his father to tell me to go. So his father told me to leave and I left.

taking news

After his son went back to England, the man called me and told me that I should come back to see him because his son cannot direct his life. He has a helper and the helper likes him, so she is taking news to his son. I asked him if he is having sex with the helper and he said no. But whenever I am there, she is always showing me bad face. I told him he should fire her and I will look after him but he still has her there working.

Pastor, I have my own house but it is not in good condition and if this man would only say the word, I will live with him.

B.E., St Elizabeth

Dear B.E.,

I see what you want. You are looking for more than just a man. You want to live in luxury. You have ambition. This man's son has read you correctly. He sees what you are after and that's why he told you not to come back to his father's house. And when he called his father and told him to tell you to leave, if his father really wanted you to stay, he would have said to his son, 'No, I don't want her to leave because she is my woman.' But he agreed with his son and asked you to leave.

This man called you back, not because he is in love with you, but because he wants to fool around with you and you are available. The helper knows what you are after. She is a woman. You think that she is standing in your way, but perhaps you are judging her wrongfully. You have absolutely no proof that she wants to have an intimate relationship with her employer.

You are a 'licky licky' woman. You are after this man for what you can get and I do not blame the helper for telling his son what is going on. Get yourself a job, or do buy and selling and earn enough to fix up your house. Take your mind off this man and his house and the other things you would like to get from him. And please understand, this man encourages you to come and visit him from time to time but he is not stupid. He knows that you are after his money. So he may have sex with you, but he will never marry you because he does not want his son or his other children to turn their backs on him.

Pastor