Dear Pastor,

Keep doing the good work that you are doing. I have a problem. I was living with this man for seven years and I have a two-year-old child for him who has special needs.

This man's house is a family house. I was getting tired of the family because they were not nice to me at all. I went to my parents for the Christmas holidays. This man's mother came for three weeks and did not call or ask to see her grand- child. This man came for the house key the following day after his mother came.

I decided to rededicate my life to the Lord at the beginning of the year. Now, I am at my mother's house with this child. He is not fully maintaining the child, who is sick every day. I have not removed my furniture and the remaining clothes from his house. This man lives with another woman and my clothes are at his house. I think things are getting sour with him and the woman because he called to ask if I could think about renewing the relationship between us.

Pastor, I am 34 years old. What should I do? He is my babyfather and I still love him. I am awaiting your response.

D.S.,

Dear D.S.,

You ought not to blame the child's grandmother for not seeing the child. If the child's father wanted his mother to see her grandchild, he could have gone for the child or asked you to bring the child so that he/she could spend some time with his/her grandmother.

You have issues with the father and I wouldn't be surprised if you believe his parents don't like you. You were living in their home. And they could come to their home anytime. They could pay you the courtesy of telling you when they are coming, but they don't have to. It is their place and you are not paying them rent.

You claim that you have dedicated your life to the Lord, so you give the impression you are not going to live with this man. He moved in a different woman. Now he is asking you whether you would come back. You know you want to go back. You have never truly left him. If you had, you would have moved all your belongings from that house. You have to decide whether your Christianity means much to you.

Is it not true your desire is to return? You claim you still love him and he is your child's father. Are you not trying to say you have good reasons for returning to him? Then why try to fool yourself by asking me what to do?

Pastor