I need your advice. I am 26 and have a girlfriend. We have been friends for nine months and now that things have got serious between both of us, we have been thinking about living together and save some money for our wedding that we are planning to have in December.

I have been talking to her about something I observe. The first time she spent a weekend with me and she took off her clothes, I noticed that she wasn't wearing any underwear. She didn't wear any for the three days she spent with me. And on the Monday morning she dressed in her working uniform and she did not put on any. So before we left the house, I asked her why she was not wearing any underwear and she said that she doesn't wear those things unless it is necessary. I told her it is necessary because she is going to work and she can become ill and have to be taken to the hospital, then everybody will know that she didn't have on any panty. She said she does not like to wear panties because they make her feel restricted.

drop it

I asked her how can wearing underwear make her feel restricted, and she told me that I should drop the argument because she stopped wearing panties years ago.

I pinched my sister and told her what I found out, and she told me that some women don't wear panties all the time but they know how to protect themselves. But when a girl is wearing skirts, she should always wear panty because she could have an accident. My sister also said that some women who do not wear panties under their skirts are advertising their stuff.

Pastor, not even thongs she wears. I am wondering if she is doing these things to catch men. I love her very much but that is the only fault I find with her.

I would be grateful if you would answer my letter. Thanks for your help.

L.D., St Catherine

Dear L.D.,

I understand that some women do not wear underwear, unless it is during their monthly period. I do not know if it is fair to suspect or to condemn women who do not wear underwear.

Your girlfriend says she feels restricted when she wears panties. I suppose some women would concur while others may say that women who do not wear panties are nasty and they are going against the norm.

It is not fair for you to condemn your girlfriend or to suspect and accuse her of seeking other men's attention. Going pantyless does not mean that she is a bad girl. But if you cannot deal with that, then you should move on. Whether or not she has on underwear, she has to know how to sit without exposing herself. The experience of being with a woman who does not wear panties is new to you and it bothers you, but some men are not bothered by that at all.

Many women do not wear panties when they are going to bed and their men like that.

Reason with your woman and let her know that if she is going to be your wife, you would prefer that wears panties, especially when she is going out.

Pastor