I am writing this letter with tears in my eyes. I am weeping because I love my children. I am 63 years old and I have two sons. I grew them up without a father. He died when they were children. I had a hard time sending them to school but my father left me a house, so we have lived there happily.

One of my boys went to England and the other stayed with me. He got a girl pregnant and her parents said she could not stay in their house. So my son asked me if she could come and stay with us until she finds a place to live. I agreed, but this girl has no respect for me, neither does she have respect for my son. She tells him anything that comes to her mouth. My son is the quiet type and he doesn't answer her but I answer her.

I told her to get out of my house. I am sure that the child does not belong to my son. My nose is straight, my son's nose is straight, his brother's nose is straight and this child who is supposed to be his, nose is as flat as pancake. The child doesn't look or resemble anybody in my family.

do a DNA

I told my son that this girl has given him a 'jacket'. Whenever my son is away, she goes out with other men and she says that they are her co-workers so I should stop watching her. I want to put her out of my house, but my son told me to give her a chance to find a place.

He said he is going to do a DNA to see whether the child is his. His father was not a fool, so, I asked him why he has allowed this girl to turn him into a fool. He is a handsome man and is educated, so I know he could get any woman if he wants. But this girl keeps turning his head.

As a mother, it is hard to see my son allowing a woman to fool him.

M.

Dear M.,

You are a senior citizen and no one, not even your children should cause you to be unhappy in your own home. This so-call girlfriend of your son should be kicked out of your house immediately. Whether your son fathered that child or not, if she has no respect for you, she should leave.

I am sure you meant well when you agreed that she should come and live in your house for a short period of time. But she has no manners, therefore, she should not be allowed to remain there. You are queen of your house and everybody, including your sons must understand that you have the final say in your house. This girl is only 'kotching'. She is having it too easy. Tell your son that if she doesn't move within a certain time, you will have her thrown out.

out-of-order

Having said the above, I must add that I know that some mothers like to meddle in their children's love life. They like to tell their sons' women what they should or should not do. If you know that you are that type of mother, then you are to desist from trying to make decisions for your children. However, from the tone of your letter, you don't seem that type. I hope I am reading you correctly. What I believe you are talking about is a rude, out-of-order and feisty girl who has come to live at your house and does not know how to conduct herself.

I believe that you are a wise woman. It does not take a long time for mothers to recognise, even without DNA, whether their sons have been given jackets. I repeat, whether or not he is the biological father of that child, tell him to take this woman out of your house.

Pastor