I must commend you on the work you have been doing for all these years. I never thought I would be seeking your help for advice. I have always been cautious with women who are younger than me because of some uncomfortable experiences I have had, but this young woman bowled me over with her confidence and interest when we just met. She is from a rural parish and I live in Kingston. She decided to stay with me for a while, as we had some plans on how we wanted our lives to be.

I slipped a ring on her finger one night, and when she got up and saw it, she was surprised and said 'yes'. Sad to say, a few days after we had a big disagreement, and words were said that were a little hurtful to both of us, she decided to go back home. I got up the morning and tried to make amends, but she refused saying she was still mad.

I called her from work, but she was on her way to the country. She took all that she had there but a gift I gave her for Valentine. We talked over the phone and she blamed me for making her leave.

Since that incident she keeps going over and over it, and I asked her to let us move on. I found a few items she left and the last time she came and spent the weekend with me we had another fuss. I spoke to her about something and went inside and she and a friend were outside until 3 a.m. When I woke up and realised that she was not in bed, I spoke to her about it. She became verbally abusive and said things that would make a man knock her out. But I realised she was intoxicated. Later in the morning when I told her what happened, she denied it and blamed me again for her drinking and behaviour.

Would you believe that the few items that were left previously, she took them and left the Valentine's gift again.

I love her and she says she loves me dearly but I am too miserable. I know she is having family problems since members of her family are suggesting for her to do things for certain benefits, although they know she is engaged to me. We hardly talk to each other. She said she had to seek counselling in her previous relationship and when I asked her for what reason and the outcome, she refused to say. Sometimes I feel she is just taking me for granted.

She is not working, but should do so soon as she wants to stand on her own. I give her what I can afford, but she is not thankful. Whenever I ask her when she is coming back, she says she doesn't know and is always reminding me of what happened months ago, and keeps saying that it may happen again.

What do you think? Should I leave her and move on? Pastor, she is 27 and I am 40. Do you think she is not ready for a committed relationship, or even marriage?

D.H. from Kingston

Dear D.H.,

Why have you continued to make yourself a fool? Can't you see that this young woman is only interested in your money? She does not love you, neither does she respect you. So, stop being silly. You are a grown man. Bring an end to this relationship. And the money you would have given her, put it in the bank.

Pastor