Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column for years. I would like you to give me your advice because you are always very honest in your responses.

I am 21 years old, soon to be 22, and I am engaged to a man who is more than twice my age. We are getting married this year. He is a very nice man and I genuinely love him. He is not rich or anything like that, so I don't want anyone to get the impression that I am with him for cash. We go out and do stuff we both enjoy doing, like sightseeing and weekend getaways.

Anyway, let me get to the point I have another male friend I usually dated. He is also older than I am. I was kind of bragging on him about my newfound lover, who doesn't have a million women like him. The problem is that this male friend is asking me what is the use of getting married to an older guy if he cannot buy me a house and a car.

upscale neighbourhood

The thing is that my fiancé is not a Jamaican, so I don't know if he would invest in all those stuff for me now. I am comfortable where I am living. I live alone in a huge house in an upscale neighbourhood that is owned by my mother who lives abroad, and I pay no bills whatsoever.

My fiancé supports me but I mostly save that money because I really don't need it. I used to own a car but I sold it and banked my cash because I don't really need a car. this friend of mind is just pressuring me, saying that if I am dating an older man it should be to get stuff from him. When I was with him, he gave me nothing. I wish I had the courage to tell him to butt out but I am not strong enough.

The other thing I want to ask you, is your views on me getting married to this man? His family has accepted me although there is a big age difference. Let me say most Jamaican girls would consider him rich, but I don't because I have been exposed to money before. I just love him. He makes me so happy and I am comfortable and honest with him.

D.L.

Dear D.L.,

You love older men and that shouldn't be anybody's business. This man loves you and you love him, and both of you want to get married, that is the end of the story.

You know you are not with him for what he has. therefore, you should, indeed, tell this other male friend to butt out. Stop listening to him. He is a bad influence.

Pastor