Dear Pastor,

It is a joy writing to you for the first time. I am faced with a family problem. My husband and I have been together for more than 10 years. We have two children. My husband has a brother who was living abroad but was deported.

He has living with us but he has become a burden. He is uneducated and a thief. Apart from eating our food, he steals. We have to hide everything. He stole $10,000 from us and tried to put the blame on our helper. We knew it was not the helper who took the money because she is a honest woman and has been working with us for four years.

My husband doesn't know what to do. He doesn't want to put him out because he wouldn't want anything to happen to him. He has a girlfriend but he hasn't told her the reason why he is living with us. She is a lovely young lady. I hope she can get him to work because he doesn't like hard work.

I would like to give you his name but my husband wouldn't like that.

Please, give us some suggestions how to cope with him.

S.,

Dear S.,

This man should be encouraged to go and learn a skill. your husband should make it clear to him that he will not be allowed to live with his family forever. He should try to get a job and rent an apartment and pay his own bills.

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If this man is allowed to live at the home indefinitely, he will not improve his lot. You could consider assisting him with the basic things he will need to set up house, so to speak. But do not allow him to feel that he will be with you for many months to come.

Pastor