Tambareen Fambily an Mix Up an Blenda massive large up unu self. Mi jus done mash up some slap-weh salt mackerel an dumpling! Maawwd!! Mi belly full an mi hawty. A me seh give tanx.

Fambily, unu can tell mi a wa really a gwaan wid suh much Jamaicans a commit suicide all of a sudden?! Puppa Jeeezas! Noooo sah! Mi neva see dis yet! Nuh care how hard life mash wi up, Jamaica was neva known for having a suicide problem. Now look deh, in a matta of only weeks a bag a people a kill off dem self one afta di oda. Dem all a jump off a bridge, an look how fi wi bridge dem likkle. Di people dem need fi laugh more!

Different sinting now, Mix Up Big-up to di gyal dem a dance weh a tell di camera man dem not fi tek dem pitcha cause dem did already inna pitcha wid di same outfit. lol! Wa day ya a one dance yuh waan see some so-called hot gyal a duck an a hide fram di Fi-Mi-Yaad camera man because dem say him tek dem inna di same outfit aready, an dem nuh waan people done dem seh dem a repeata. Dem Luddy! Right ya now mi naa deh wid no gyal weh nuh waan repeat har clothes! Dem gyal deh wi bruk yuh pocket! Gyal fi repeat! Big up mi facety ghetto gyal fren, Biggie fram Drewsland, who say "wen gyal repeat it mean seh di clothes a fi har." An unu eva notice seh di gyal dem weh nuh waan repeat don't have a job! Ole crasses dem! Cho!

Awright, pree da mix-up ya:

'Frighten Friday 'Artiste

Raga big-up to di artiste dem weh tour a foreign an wen dem si pretty gyal dem gwine like a di fuss, an a gwaan like nuh pretty gyal nuh deh a Jamaica. Hear yah now Raga, at di end of di show, di artiste dem call up some gyal pon di stage. Raga u wah si how a certain artiste a arms up one gyal pon di stage an it look like im neva memba seh a im fi end di show. Raga di gyal weh im a arms up a everybody supmn, yeah is a pretty gyal still, but we all know bout ar inna di likkle Jamaican community in dis part of California. Raga im ave it up like a she a wife and im juss meet ar. Raga I laff till I want to pop. U wah si im too, wid im short self and di gyal long like a wah ova im. Raga a so dem artiste yah gwan wen dem come a mi likkle town, tru dem know di Jamaican community nuh too big, so dem behave like dem nuh know demself. Big up uself Raga.

Me did haffi cut out di three artiste dem name along wid some oda information dat I'm not allowed to publish ya suh.

Anywayz, Missa Short Artiste weh did guh pon tour recently a California wid two oda artiste, di people dem seh yuh did a luu wid di long giraffe gyal weh yuh did have pon di stage! It look like yuh guh ride di California Ghetto Bicycle! Dem say yuh nuh fi tun 'Frighten Friday' wen yuh guh farin an see hot gyal. Yuh betta careful fi real, cause nuff a dem gyal deh a nuh gyal, nuff a dem a man. Tek heed an memba weh Beenie Man did say a long time ago: "yuh coulda find out yuh girl name earl!" Suh wen unu guh farin unu fi buil, humble unu self, an mind weh unu a eat, cause yuh might a move to some soft chow-cho and only to find out seh a one trang piece a green banana! dwl!

Reach Ragashanti at mixupraga@gmail.com or PO Box 5866, Liguanea PO, Kingston 6.