I have been reading your column since I was a little girl. My father used to bring the paper home and tell me to read it to get sense. But my father couldn't read, so he didn't know what you were writing. I used to read some of the letters to him.

Pastor, I got married, but my marriage is not going well. My husband gambles a lot and he has lots of outside children. He has caused me to cheat, but he doesn't know what I am doing sometimes. If I don't cheat, I couldn't send my children to school.

We are living in a rented house and many times we can't pay the rent. My husband doesn't believe in working hard. He makes furniture and he is always in contention with people because he takes their money and can't deliver the furniture. I am not making much.

Some may condemn me for cheating, but I can't do better. I hope my children will never suspect what I am doing to help them. The man I go to bed with is much younger than I am. My husband knows him, but he doesn't know that he is helping him out.

I have toughened my heart and I don't feel guilty because I need the help. I hope you will not condemn me. Thanks for reading my letter.

T.D.,

Dear T.D.,

I am not here to condemn anyone. That is not my approach or practice. I may give my opinion and suggestions, but I will not condemn anybody.

You have been reading my column for a long time and you probably know that I take a direct approach from time to time, so you may feel that I may condemn you. No, I wouldn't, but I must tell you that you are living dangerously.

You have been going to bed with another man and you claim your husband is to be blamed for your behaviour. No, my dear, he is not. You have chosen to cheat. You claim he is not supporting the family, and if you don't cheat, the children wouldn't be able to go to school. That is a poor excuse. You could have tried to find another job to earn more or in addition to your regular job, get a weekend job. You could sell phone cards, and babysit on some weekends for your friends and neighbours.

At present you are selling your body. That can never be right. Am I condemning you? Oh, no, I am just saying you should try to find another way to bring money into the family.

End the affair now. Are you not afraid of what may happen if your husband found out that you are cheating? You should be scared.

Pastor