Dear Pastor,

I am writing you this letter with tears in my eyes, and I hope you can help me. I am 23 years old and I am married. But I am unhappy. Since I got married, I have not had a happy day. I fear having sex with my husband because we do not do normal sex.

Before I became a Christian, I had boyfriends and I had sex with them, but when I became a Christian and went in the church, I stopped having sex. I met my husband in church, and we didn't have sex until we were married. He is 41 years old, so he is a big man.

I thought he was a decent man. He promised that he would take care of me. He has his own house and a good job, and the members of the church respect him. He provides food and pays the bills. He is jealous, but I can live with that. I told him, I will not cheat.

When it comes to sex, I dread doing it with him because all he wants to do is anal sex, and I hate doing that. The first night we had sex, he forced me to do it, and he told me I will get accustomed to it, but I hate it even more. I will not do it anymore because I do not believe it is right.

no reason to lie

I complained to the pastor and when he met with us, my husband told him that I was lying on him. I have no reason to lie on my husband.

My husband told me he cannot keep an erection unless he is having anal sex. I don't want to stay with him.

J.,

Dear J.,

Your husband should make an appointment to see a psychologist. He denied that he does anal sex in the presence of your pastor. But I am sure that the pastor is not so naive to believe that you are so wicked to be accusing him of something he is not doing.

This marriage will not last unless your husband faces up to his problem and seek help. No man should force his woman to do anal sex. Who can blame you for wanting to leave him? I am surprised that you are still with him.

You didn't expect him to force you to have anal sex. Tell him you are prepared to leave him. But before you leave, go and see a lawyer. Protect yourself and your interest because he is going to lie on you. He may even say that you are having an affair and that is the real reason why you are leaving him.

Pastor