Dear Pastor,

I am 22 and I need your advice. My father and mother separated when I was 16, and my mother did days' work and sent me to school. I didn't do so well in school. I only have two subjects. I started to have sex when I was 16 and I am still having sex with the same man. He lives alone and when I first went there it was because he asked my mother if she would come and clean his house. She couldn't go so she sent me instead.

This man started to treat me very well, so I used to go there to see him even when I didn't want to clean his house. I got to like him, but not even my mother suspected we had a thing going on until I was 20. She told me it was better to be an old man's darling. This man's children are older than I am, but they are not living close by. I love him so much and I have never cheated on him.

Pastor, the only problem I have with him is when we are kissing he takes out his dentures. I am not in need of anything because he gives me everything. Since I am with him, I went back to school and I got three more subjects. He is promising to send me to college, but he said that his daughter's name is in his account and he doesn't want her to know what he is doing for me. He promised to be a guarantor for me to get money for the student loan.

I don't regret having a relationship with this man, because when I look at how some young men treat their girlfriends, these guys can't walk in my man's shoes.

B.R.

Dear B.R.,

I am sure this man would be happy to know you speak highly of him. You are really 'bigging him up'. However, some people would question why a much older man couldn't find a woman who is close to his age. On the other hand, love is not limited by age. Each person is expected to make decisions that suits them. Evidently, both of you are in love and your relationship is not based on what he was able to do for you.

He is afraid to tell his daughter he wants to help you to go to college because she might feel you are after his money and you only using him. It would be good for you to go to college, and if there is any way possible for him to assist you, financially, he should. Perhaps, because of his age, he may not be able to be a guarantor but he may be able to ask his friends to do so.

He should not be afraid to speak to his children about you and let them now what he wants to do for you, because you have been more than kind. Lets face it, you have kept him clean and have done everything to make him very happy.

Perhaps this man cannot kiss while he is wearing his dentures, but by now you should have got accustomed to the pleasure of his gum.

Pastor