Hey, a wonder if unnu know dat this is the 293rd time that I writing this column? Is a big, big number dat don't it? Yea peeps, is 293 weeks now since I been ranting and raving in the STAR; and I have done it every single Wednesday without failure (except on holidays like Ash Wednesday when nuh STAR nuh print).

I have written about all kind of deep and conscious things. I have probed and problematized issues of academic relevance and social significance. I have also written about fun ideas and silly stuff, because life is like that and I'm not a one-dimensional character. Well, anybody want to guess what I want to write about today? Nothing!

Fi real hiyah, mi nah write anything. And if mi write mi nah write 'bout nothing! Mi nah strike yu know, mi just ah tek a break. Really and truly, I wanted to write about how it hard to write about something every single week. Why not? After all, nothing nuh wrong with that? Look here nuh man, I just heard about a man who produced and directed a video documentary and the entire aim and objective of the entire documentary was to document how absolutely difficult it is to do a documentary.

Well, is that me doing today, a wha? And ah don't want unnu feel like is because I neva have anything fi write about. I actually had a plan about what I wanted to write about today. Yeah man, I had my topic locked down and I had my references all lined up. I even had a comprehensive, catchy and controversial title. But I can't recall. It was supposed to be deep and meaningful and significant. But I can't remember. And I'm not in the habit of telling lies. Never! Yes, I may massage the truth and embellish facts, but anybody who would suggest that I'm lying, would only really be proving that they're the ones who are pathologically mendacious.

how people wicked so?

Trust me friend and people, if anybody tells you that Blakka couldn't find anything fi write 'bout today, is just propaganda and rumour dem a spread on I and I. And talking about rumour, how people wicked so? Unnu see how fast and furious the rumour spread about how the lady from the Maxfield area was shot dead after she won the million dollars from Digicel? How things like that start? If I was going to write anything today, that is something I would also write about. I would write about how deaf ears give liard trouble. Maybe somebody was talking to the lady on a phone and repeating everything she said. And she maybe said something like she nuh broke again 'cause thanks to Digicel har bank book a shat now, and that since she win the money niceness and happiness a kill har. And all the people dem hear was 'shat' and 'kill' and braps, rumour start!

Is same way another rumour started in 1951 based on ignorance, and still affect our nowadays speech. People love to talk 'bout how something happened from 'whappie kill phillup'. An' no whappy never kill any Phillup! That rumour started when Aston Jolly, whose nickname was 'Whappie King' attacked and robbed two people. A Gleaner article on that incident had a line reporting that one victim survived the attack but the other died 'from a Whappie King fillip'. Fillip, meaning snap or light blow, like the flip of a finger. Is dem thing deh I wanted to write about. But like I said, mi nah write anything today!

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