Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column very much and, at times, I regret that it is not featured in the Saturday STAR. I am a 32-year-old teacher at a prominent high school in the Corporate Area. I have been married for eight years. My husband owns and operates a business in the Corporate Area also. He is 36 years old. We love each other very much and we try to please each other in every way we can. My reason for writing to you is because I need you to give us some tips on how to keep our marriage 'spicy'.

When we first got married, it was beautiful. We went out most of the times whether it was to the country to visit our relatives, to the theatre to watch a movie or just spend time alone at home. It is not the same now. My husband leaves for work in the mornings at eight and comes home some minutes to 11, (the restaurant opens from 8:30 a.m.-10 p.m.). As for me, I am at work by 7:45 a.m. and get home by 9 p.m. because I am currently doing my second degree in Business.

Pastor, we want to start a family soon, but that seems unlikely since our day's schedule is so crammed.

At times we don't even have sex for weeks and it is very frustrating for me, as my job gets a little bit too stressful at times. If we do have sex it is in the mornings before we leave the house or in the nights when we have a little energy to spare. I want to have a happy marriage and have a family very soon. So, please give me some sound advice.

K.B., St. Andrew

Dear K.B.,

If you are so busy studying and under stress, and could only make time to have sex with your husband early in the morning, he is not to be blamed for how the relationship is going. Both of you have been married for eight years and it is only now you are thinking about having children. Too bad you had not started to work on that earlier.

What both of you need is professional help. A family counsellor is the person you should see. And there are numerous books that you can buy to learn how to spice up your relationship.

I think your marriage needs more than spicing up. I believe that you should stop blaming your husband for not taking you out and for not doing what is to be done. You have a big role to play. And I rather suspect that you are not doing your part very well.

Pastor